I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
