OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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