it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
