I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
