Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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