Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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