I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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