He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
