I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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