Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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