Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
