omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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