Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
