false alarm. still invincible.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
