apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
