I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
