Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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