saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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