it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
