Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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