She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
