I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
