oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
