I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
