I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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