smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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