Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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