So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
