: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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