Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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