you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
