Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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