So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
