I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at about main and main street
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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