And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
