there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
