You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
