I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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