So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
In America we eat man semen.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
