dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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