Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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