Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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