you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
