am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
