He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
