We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
