I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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