I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
