I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
