You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
