whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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